thebootydiaries:

White boy: what are you doing now haha

Me: shower

White boy’s inner monologue: you fool! You’ve activated my trap card, “Without me? ;)” it will send your patience card to the graveyard and dock you 1000 life points!

(via thebootydiaries)

doctor-endless:

Anyone else go through that occasional phase where toast and butter is just the tastiest fucking creation on the planet and you have to restrain yourself from eating an entire loaf of bread in ten minutes

(via sarcastically-savannah)


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